Emotional Burden

I take things badly. A lot. Friends and family becoming ill, war, hunger, homelessness, death. I struggle to process these things.

I have discussed in previous posts that I consider myself very empathetic. I also discussed that this is not necessarily a bad thing. Despite this, I hate the burden that this makes me carry. I like the fact I care. I dislike that I care too much.

It’s like a physical weight bearing down on me, stopping me from continuing daily tasks. I want to function normally but I cannot stop thinking about the sadness and grief I (and others) feel. It’s very similar to depression; just as consuming but not quite as debilitating. I get the same slow, sluggish, ‘toned down’ feeling about life… as if everything is minus 100 speed. It’s a tricky feeling to have because even when I have plenty of good things in my life, I still feel the burden.

I’m keen to relieve myself of this burden however I don’t want to become ‘robotic.’ I don’t want to stop caring, or stop feeling. I want to be able to help people – that is what I love – but I don’t want to get so emotionally attached.

It is exhausting – feeling someone else’s grief. My partner is the exact opposite to me in this respect; they just say ‘oh that is awful/how sad/i hope they are OK’ and then they move on. I let it burn away and eat me up inside.

Is there a way I can detach myself from all of this?

xo