Make Everything OK

I have an innate desire to make everything better. I want to help people, care for people, heal people. I don’t think I’m Ghandi or some shit, I just think people are put on this planet to love, nurture and support one another.

There is a LOT of bad in the world right now, there has been for a long time. Just off the top of my head I think Covid-19, black people being shot for nothing, the leader of the USA causing utter fucking chaos. I’m in the UK and these worldwide/American problems reach this far, too. It really shakes me.

I guess part of my anxiety is worrying over so many things. Generally things I cannot control, things I will never have control over. So I should just stop, right? I wish I could. So MUCH. I know I can’t change the racist, xenophobic views of the President but I firmly believe being part of world that does nothing is WRONG.

I try to be as vocal as possible about current affairs and things I see as wrong-doings. I see this as one of my positive attributes (see the positive affirmations is working!!). I do this, knowing that my impact is minute. Despite this, I like to think of fighting for what is right as having the ‘domino effect.’ If I can change one persons’ negative views, they could influence others.

The book I am reading discussed something similar, about changing people’s views. It said that in some cases you just cannot convince some people that your way is the ‘right’ way. You need to let them go! This is something I am going to practice. I have often gotten into debates with people about politics, nature, flat earth… the list is endless… and some people will listen. Some, however, will not accept that their view point is skewed, despite being given evidence to the contrary.

I need to learn to let them go.

On the more personal side of life, trying to help people is second nature to me. I will always do my best to make sure people are OK. Unfortunately this has become detrimental to my mental health, this has been part of the reason I have felt overwhelmed and overstretched. During therapy, it was suggested that I start to put myself first.

That is a difficult concept to somebody with two children and older family members to care for. I am trying this; I am finding it very hard. I see time relaxing as wasted time. I feel I always have to be on the go, doing something to help someone else.

It’s going to be a slow process learning more positive behaviours – I will get there 🙂 xo