Of course, typing all of this up helps me. However; the evening of my first 2 blog posts brought me some pretty horrible nightmares. The talk of friends who had lost their fight with mental health and succumbed to suicide must have really got to me.
I am having a pretty mediocre day today and in terms of how I have been feeling – that’s good. I’m keeping busy, I’ve been outdoors, I’ve rested. All the things the doctor suggested I do. I am even going to exercise later (!)
Some days this all seems achievable and luckily today is one of them. Other day’s the idea of doing more than I NEED to sends me crashing. As I have previously said- I am high functioning. For those who don’t know what that means, it’s that I can’t just SIT. That doesn’t stop my brain from having a “walking through custard” day. The kind of day where even putting socks on pisses me off. Where I want to get out and go and meet up with friends but anxiety gets the better of me and fuzzes my head over. Those day’s I find the worst. I cannot complete tasks, I cannot focus. These are the things I really want to do.
On good days I have been visiting friends or inviting them round; I have learnt that most people I know have experienced some kind of mental health problems. I have sought solace in these friendships; these lovely people have reached out and given me a minute of their time and I hope I have done the same for them. Mental health is so complex that nobodies story is going to be exactly the same yet many experiences are similar and comparable.
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Blogging to Improve My Mental Health 